Book Review of "The White Umbrella"

This week we had a book discussion of The White Umbrella: Walking with Survivors of Sex Trafficking by Mary Frances Bowley.  The White Umbrella tells stories of survivors as well as those who came alongside to help them to recovery. It describes the pain and the strength of these young women and those who held the "white umbrella" of protection and purity over them on the road to restoration.  Rather than discussion questions we read quotes from the book and had great discussion around them.  These are the quotes we used which I feel really captured the essence of the pain these precious women feel and how we can best "stand close under our umbrella" and walk alongside them.  This book is a must read for anyone working with survivors.

 

Beginning Statement:

“As long as we are convinced that “somebody like me” can’t really do anything to turn the tide, we can continue to exist in our self-made bubbles of comfort and ignore God’s beating heart.

~ Louie Giglio (from the foreword)

 

1. “Some of these kids are runaways and some are abandoned. Many others come from good homes. They are the victims of cruel and clever predators who know just what to offer – the appearances of friendship, a listening ear, the promise of love or money or a new life. (p 15)

2. An umbrella is a common item, usually left forgotten in the back of a closet until needed. But when nature delivers a downpour or hailstorm, an umbrella makes a difference – a buffer that protects us from the harsh elements falling from the sky. An umbrellas often does something else as well – it brings those who suffer together. When y0u share one with someone, you have to stand close, side by side.” (p 17)

3. “Outside of my home, I lived a normal life. I made good grades, played sports, and had a few close friends. But on the inside, I felt dirty and worthless. I felt like I needed to hide. Sometimes I wanted to die. If anyone had paid attention, they might have noticed how the light in my face had been extinguished.” ~ Survivor (p22)

4. “When God’s people come together to fight this good fight against the exploitation of innocence, the weight of oppression is exchanged for the weight of glory. The time has come to let our children be little girls once again. The time for freedom is now.” (p37)

5. Providing a picture of God… “When these girls realize that you've weathered storms of your own and that God made something beautiful through it, a light clicks on in their heads.  When you can accept them for who they are despite what they’ve done, just like God accepts you in spite of what you’ve done, it gives them a picture of who God is, and a picture of what their life could look like through His transformative grace.” (p 47)

6. “They were expected to earn $1,000 per night for their pimps, meaning they would be violated eight to ten times each evening. The average age of the girls lured into the Atlanta sex trade is twelve.”

7. “The common thread among the girls we hoped to serve was childhood sexual abuse. One out of every four girls is sexually abused before the age of eighteen. And these are only the reported cases. The numbers, staggering as they are, are probably higher than we think. This means one out of every four women at the grocery store, at the bank, at the mall, in the pew at church, and everywhere in “normal” life have had this traumatic experience.  Emotionally, girls are arrested in their development and make choices based on the age at the time of the abuse.” (p 51 & 61)

8. “On the outside, she lived a normal life, but on the inside, her self-worth had slowly decayed into a hollow cavity. For years, she blended in at school and even in church, as her pain passed undetected and unnoticed. For years, not a single friend, mentor or confidante was able to read the signs nor realize that the abuse that began at such a young age had warped Alisha’s understanding of what is normal. “ (p 63)

9. “Remember, abuse is not always a choice. Girls who are survivors of sex trafficking are branded on the streets as prostitutes, sometimes quite literally as their pimp burns his mark on their neck or ankles. But they did not choose this work, and it is doubly tragic when these young women are branded once again by stigma and shame when they walk into the wider community, and even the church.” (p 69)

10. “Jesus Christ came to set the captives free, and Christians have the amazing and humbling opportunity to be His hands and feet in this redemptive rescue. Much like the four men in the Bible who dug through the roof to get their paralyzed friend to Jesus, we must do whatever it takes to help victims of abuse through the journey of healing. (p 71-72)

11. “No matter how awful her situation, she operates in the “security” of what she knows. It’s difficult for her to give that up for the unknown. She needs a motivating reason to help her let go of the familiar and take those first steps toward healing. She may revert to “crawling” because she doesn’t yet have the confidence in her ability to walk. Whether she is crawling, walking or falling after taking a few steps, our role is to keep standing by her and supporting her at whatever stage she is in.” (p 74-75)

12. “It’s difficult for many of our girls to pray for themselves in the midst of restoration from horrific circumstances. What each one needs most is a warrior to pray for her, someone to carry her to the throne when she is too weak to carry herself.”

13. “They had been pimped out every night and often beaten. Our girls didn’t play sports after school; they worked the streets after school. Our girls didn’t attend football games on Friday nights; they went to the nearest hotel with their pimp to endure unwanted sex with men.”

14. “Change, even good change, is difficult. Each girl responds differently to the opportunity. Ultimately, it is God who brings permanent change. Our task is to seek His will even as we hold out our arms to these young women learning to walk again, encouraging them to take one more wobbly step forward. (p 79)

15. “We have observed that the most volatile time for a young woman who has been sexually exploited is often just after she leaves that life. When she finally exits this life of manipulative abuse and gains perspective through distance, she often comes face-to-face with a conclusion that is too horrific to digest. Often our well-intentioned but inappropriate message is received as, “That was a horrible life. Now we can start over…from scratch.” What we intend as a positive message may have the reverse effect and overwhelm her. (p 82-83)

16. “When people rally together to support a good cause, it shouts a second message to the community at large, that people can work unselfishly together if our eyes are on God and on those in need, rather than on our own advancement. I believe this is the way God meant for us to work. When we allow God to lead, what a refreshing message is communicated.” (p 154)

17. “I feel hopeless. I am the one left broken and defeated. I don’t have the emotional energy to tackle the obstacles. I know I want something different for my life, but everything seems so out of my reach.” ~ Survivor (p 176)

18. “When others tell one of these precious women that she’s a failure and she begins to believe it herself, this is the critical moment when we need to step in. We must proclaim that we believe in her and in our God, who is able to do beyond what we can imagine. And we believe in God’s strength enough to support her with our words, time, and resources, asking nothing of her in return. If we as a community of faith will not demonstrate true belief in the power of God to restore her, who will? We must believe for her…and in her” (p 180)

 Ending Statement:

“Together, we can be and will be a force for good, a sea of freedom fighters blanketing the world with the blinding light of His great love. Mary Frances has paved the way for us to raise our voice for freedom and liberty for all. There is a place for you in this fight”

~ Louie Giglio (from the foreword)