Sunday, September 1, 2013

Scars And Stilletos by Harmony Dust

Scars and Stilettos: The Transformation of an Exotic Dancer"Fear of being abandoned keeps nineteen-year-old Harmony Dust trapped in an abusive and cruel relationship. She thinks she has hit bottom—tens of thousands of dollars in debt, struggling to get by, and so controlled by her boyfriend that she doesn’t protest when he begins openly sleeping around. Things can’t get worse . . . until someone tells her how much money she can make as an exotic dancer. For the next three years, Harmony lives a double life as Monique, a dancer in a fully-nude strip club."
 
This book was recommended to me to prepare for serving in a human trafficking ministry.  At first, I was a little unsure of how a story about an ex-stripper who has turned her life around would relate.  But after reading the book I understood.  Harmony spent all of her childhood and adolescent years wanting someone to love and accept her.  But it wasn't until she came to know the love of Jesus that she felt truly loved and complete.
  
I admit that I had to look past the obscenities and a little bit too much detail in some areas, but the overall message I got from the book was well worth it.  Once I started it I didn't want to put in down.  Harmony's journey is hard to read at times because of what she experienced, but it is a wonderful picture of the amazing and transforming power of Jesus Christ. 
 

Her Value…far above Rubies and Pearls

 

 You are Loved and Welcomed...the words she longed to hear


It helps the reader understand another side of girls working in the sex industry.  How it is that a girl might end up there and how hard it is for her to find a way out.  Harmony shares her life story beginning with her childhood where she was exposed to pornography and abused at a very young age.  It broke my heart to read as Harmony recalls a time when she was only 13 years old and her mother leaves her at home alone with her younger brother for days leaving only food stamps on the table. 

During her teen years she becomes involved in a relationship with her childhood friend,
Derrick.   When Derrick ends up with no place to live, Harmony is so desperate for love and affection that she offers to get a job and pay for an apartment for him so he won’t leave town. Derrick soon begins to take full advantage of her financially and sexually.  He berates her, mooches off her and even has another girlfriend named Gina.  Derrick expects Harmony to pay for everything and she is willing to do it to keep him from leaving her.  Their relationship becomes so dysfunctional that she is sleeping on the couch in the apartment that she pays for while he sleeps in the bedroom. 

One day she comes home to find another woman’s clothes in her closet.  She learns that Gina is pregnant and Derrick is letting her move in.  They share the bedroom while Harmony continues to sleep on the couch. 

Most of us would wonder how someone could remain in such a horrible situation, but Harmony shares how she felt trapped because the dysfunction was what was familiar to her. 

When she isn't making enough money to support the three of them she takes a job as a stripper while Derrick continues to demand money from her. She shares her raw emotions of shame and guilt and the inner turmoil of living a double life where she is

Harmony - a college student and day care worker by day
and
Monique - an all nude dancer by night.

She eventually meets a young Christian named Tanya who befriends her.  Tanya never judges her and continues to invite her to church.  Harmony finally accepts the invitation and begins to experience her true value.  She feels loved and accepted and is able to leave Derrick and her life as an exotic dancer behind.  And rather than letting her tragic past define who she is, she finds her true identity in Christ and now uses her life to help other women in the sex trade discover their true worth. 

To find out more please visit www.scarsandstilettos.com.

I think the lyrics to this song capture the feelings Harmony describes...
 
Jason Aldean’s Black Tears
 
She puts on her work clothes
Fishnets and pantyhose
She’s got a nickname everybody knows
At the gentleman’s club

She clocks in at midnight
Even though it never feels right
She makes her money one dollar at a time
Without the makeup nobody knows her name
And she wears the pain

Black tears, rolling down
From the eyes of an angel in a sinner’s town
She reveals, and they all cheer
But then she cries black tears

Jealous of the innocence
But sometimes she’s convinced
The boss man is still a friend she needs

But she’s tried everything, cheap sex and cocaine
Anything to hide the pain for a little while
The wrong kind of famous in her momma’s eyes
You can tell she knows it when she cries

Black tears, rolling down
From the eyes of an angel in a sinner’s town
White lines off the mirror
Just won’t hide black tears

She tries and tries so hard to get away
But everybody’s watching

Black tears, rolling down
From the eyes of an angel in a sinner’s town
If all the pain would just disappear
She’d quit crying, yeah she’d quite crying black tears

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